Happy Father's Day, Dad!

When I was in elementary school one of my classmates' favorite arguments was, "My dad can (insert skill here) better than your dad!" The arguments would get quite heated, and every kid insisted that his dad was the best at everything.

Me? I'd just smile and continue with what I was doing. I pitied those clueless kids, really. I knew without a doubt that my dad could run circles around their dads in every possible way. 

Fixing stuff? Check.

Playing with me and my brothers? Check check.

Endless patience? Check check check.

They had no idea that my dad was really the best one ever, but I didn't want to ruin their innocence by enlightening them.

I was right too.

It took me many years to recognize that the real gifts my dad gave me had nothing to do with shooting hoops on the driveway, early Saturday morning rides to catch the bus to speech meets, or trips to Dairy Queen as we hung over the cab of the truck with wind whipping our hair into tangles. They had nothing to do with the goodnight kisses, playing home run derby in the front yard, or picking me up from kindergarten on the snowmobile (which made me a five year old rock star to my classmates).

The real gifts- lessons, really- were about responsibility and tenacity. Working hard to support a young family no matter what it took. I'll never forget attending his commencement services as a ten year old child, having watched him achieve his dream of becoming a college graduate (first in the family!) while working full-time and raising three kids.

He taught me that showing up for the important events matters. Weddings, funerals, banquets, graduations. People remember who was there for them during the most precious of life moments, and it means something to them when friends and family put aside their own lives to celebrate and mourn with them.

He taught me that real men respect women and would never dream of raising a hand to them. Real men don't call women names or belittle them or make them feel weak or less than. Real men celebrate the strength and good judgment of the women in their lives. When choosing my own husband and father for my children I never considered settling for anything less, and my daughters continue to reap the reward of his example.

He taught me to choose kindness. To have patience (I'm still working on this one). To recognize that even the smallest of lives have value. He taught me that life is hard and rarely fair, but that there are more good days than bad and that is something to be celebrated.  

He taught me that who I am is a choice. The truth is that my dad became the father he is without a good example of his own to emulate. He chose the kind of man and father he wanted to be, when it would have been so easy to instead be bitter, angry, and selfish. The legacy of that choice is profound, appreciated, and generational. 

Looking back on my life, I can't think of a single time my dad has let me down, or said no when I needed him to say yes. My hope is that one day my own children will look back and view me through the same lens, because to me that would be the ultimate measure of achievement and success.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you.